Monday, November 1, 2010

Nail biter, Thumb sucker, Lip licker

I grew up as one of those little girls that sucked her thumb, bit her nails and licked her upper lip until it was chapped and raw. I specifically remember the stinging pain associated with this. I remember my mom and/or dad walking into my room at night (thinking I couldn't hear them) and them attempting to pull my whole support system out of my mouth, my THUMB.
It was my lifesaver! When I was sad, my thumb was there for me. When I was tired, my thumb was there for me, you get the point.....They even tried that polish on my thumb and nails that makes it yucky to bite, I went right through that like it was cake. I even would bite on my thumb so hard that it had a split in the middle of it, now it shows a faint scar from this past addiction.
Eventually I grew up, and I learned that it wasn't "cool" to suck your thumb when you are older. I stopped licking my lip but I continued to bite my nails.
This addiction did not stop until I was 24 and away in Montana doing an internship at an Indian Health Hospital. For some reason being stuck on a desolate reservation as one of the few non-Indian tribe members gave me the courage I needed to fight the addiction. This was also paired with the fact that it was -9 degrees, yes, NEGATIVE nine and I had big ski gloves on my hands at most times except when I was removing someones appendix or gallbladder when I had the luxurious sterile surgical gloves on. I was so excited to get my first manicure and tell my new husband (just married) that I had beat the dreaded biting addiction! I got them painted a pretty pink the day before flying home.
As with most addictions, there has been ups and downs and lately it's been a downer. For some reason (stress, life, running around, the lack of proper workouts, being a mom, working, household stuff, whatever) I have succumbed to the biting again! Actually I think I was biting one nail while I paused to write this.
The sad part of the story is that Lyla is now putting her hands in her mouth and munching down on them. This if anything should open up my eyes that I need to stop biting my nails. Just like some people (I'm not naming names) need to stop saying SH_T. Fill in the blank. Lyla copies all of this. She did say "Oh SH_T" after her blocks fell over the other day. (Bad mommy moment, I did laugh a little) I will add that it's not me saying this word it's someone else we live with (I'm sure you can figure this out).
So with a half smile on my face and my bitten down nails I am now proclaiming a new journey to stop biting my nails and to stop telling myself that my stomach looks fat and to stop being negative about some things so that Lyla does not take those traits on as well.
I hope that she takes on my other good traits (crafts, creativity, baking, cooking, card making, my love for learning, smiling, laughing, going for walks, and loyalty)

Okay, cheers to a new day and a new beginning of french manicures and smiles!

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