Friday, May 20, 2011

Everyone Poops!

I have been taking Lyla to swim lessons on Mondays. I try to be the "ideal" mom and do all of the FUN things with Lyla. Before I had Lyla I used to daydream about having a daughter and being best friends with her, hanging out, and baking cookies. In my dreams I was "Martha Stewart" and she was a cute blond with curls (I got her right on).

For example, swimming, gymnastics, parks, walks, educational activities, play dough, bubbles, playing house, reading books, running, screaming, dancing, eating Popsicles, making cookies, getting dirty, and painting our nails. Lately one of her favorite books is EVERYONE POOPS. She's obsessed with it.

Sometimes these play times are as I imagined, and sometimes they go the opposite. Here's a great example:
SWIM: Our class is in Bellevue with moms that pull up in Mercedes mini-vans and snooty looks on their faces. On the other hand, I come rushing in with sweats on, my hair pulled back and oily/frizzy from not washing it that day, no makeup and possibly food stains and/or oatmeal in my hair and Lyla's hair. (Don't judge)
We rush to get undressed, put on the appropriate swim diaper, swim caps and head to class. You see, the instructors are very strict with wearing proper poop protecting clothing. Their biggest fear is that a child will poop in the pool and shut down water babies for a day, this would be the end of the world! They are also strict on swim caps, they do not want dreadlocks of hair swishing around in the heated Bellevue pool. This too would end the world.
We proceed to sit listen and wait and then enter the pool. Lyla holds on to me for dear life. She loves the water but she loves me more...therefore she would rather kiss and rub her mom than float on her back with her ears in the water.
A couple of Mondays ago we were singing and swimming in a circles as instructed.
Lyla joyfully announced "POOP" at the top of her lungs. 
I'm not joking, I think every mom turned to give me the look of death.
What? Your baby doesn't poop?

Okay, Okay... I took her out of the water while she continued to say "Momma..., POOP...pooppoopooppooooop".

As I gracefully took her out of the pool I felt warmth down my leg. I checked her diaper and it was clear. Ohhh... it was PEE! Lyla had to pee.
She thinks the words are interchangeable.
I peeked in her diaper and it was clear.
We re-entered the pool and the teacher quickly said "Did you get everything taken care of?" I happily replied yes and explained that she did not need to POOP.
Lyla chirped in and said
"No mom, POOP! poopooop!" She then patted her butt.

I smiled. Reassured the teacher, and returned to class as the poop outcast.
She then ripped off her swim cap and threw it in the water. What a rebel!
It makes me smile. 
She is a crack-up!


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