Friday, February 11, 2011
It's been almost 20 months that I have been breastfeeding Lyla.
That's 20 months of sharing my body with hers. She was living off of my nutrients for quite some time and growing because of the miracle of the human body. At first I had only hoped that I could breastfeed for at least 3 months, then it turned to 6, then one year, and then it was just hard to stop.
Why do you ask? Well for those of you moms that have breastfed your children you will understand. On the other hand, for those newbies out there, let me tell you a few things:
Breastfeeding isn't easy to start, but it's easy once you get going. The baby has to get used to all the little nuainces that are associated with sucking on a nipple to put it bluntly. I went through a bit of trauma in the early days when she munched on me a little too close. But for 20 months there was only that one major incident. When I first began to nurse her I was embarrassed to show myself in public while feeding her, that soon went down the toilet. Now it's second nature because it is natural! There is a feeling of "tingling" when your breasts fill with milk, then once they are filled you are ready to go! Not only had I been giving Lyla nutrition but we had an unexplainable bond. It helped us grow closer together. It was OUR time and only OUR time. Each morning, afternoon and night we had that sacred time to cuddle, bond and let her relax.
What I didn't expect? The looks and glares of the other women. For some reason there are women out there that are incredibly judgemental about breastfeeding and how long you should do it. If you go past six months they wonder why. They ask you when you are going to stop, why you are doing it or just give you that look of rolling their eyes. All I can say about those nursing haters, is go hate somewhere else! Don't be judgmental. For you new moms that are reading, be proud! It is a miracle to be able to feed your child. If you feel it fits your lifestyle, do it! Pump and be proud! I pumped every single day that I worked, twice if not three times during my workday. I was never judged at work. I have an amazing workplace and I'm proud to say that if it wasn't for their support I may not have been able to go this long.
There comes a time when all good things must come to an end. For me that was 20 months. I think I felt it in my heart, and my body felt it. One side of me had stopped producing milk and the other as full blown. A little bit of awkward lopsidedness never got me down!
So, after going away with my girlfriends for the weekend I made the firm decision. I would let my body reabsorb the milk over the weekend, with no pumping and see how I did when I returned home. I came home yesterday to Lyla abruptly signing "MILK" "MILK" "MILK" right in my face. She gets a serious look and her personality turns firm. So, I did it, she fed from the full side and was quite happy. When it was time for bed, there was no milk that reproduced. (SAD FACE). I guess I knew I was ready but I was also okay if I "needed" to keep going. It's an addiction for both of us. Mommy/Daughter time. Well it's Monday and still no MILK. I fed her this morning after her request but she knew it was gone and soon a frustrated Lyla moved on to her sippy cup.
I hope this natural progression only gets better. I think there may be some "drops" of milk left in there. I'll let her figure out that it's gone and hopefully we move on from there (BIG SAD FACE).
I have mixed emotions but I think it's time.
Breakup time with MILK.
The only light in this whole tunnel is that I can get some cosmetic things done now... Botox anyone?