Friday, March 18, 2011

Five days

Wow. I actually made it five days without my little sweet babe and hubby. I had to fly to Cali for a board review course. I have been dreading it since the day I put my credit card number on the registration form.

I even thought about skipping it and staying home to study. In the days and weeks prior I didn't even talk about it. I didn't want it crossing my brain that I was going to be gone. So what's the best method? Ignoring the gnawing bitter truth that I was leaving my little girl for the first time. This method seemed to work well this time.

I am right now sitting next to a rock fountain with gigantic fish swimming around at the Embassy Suites hotel in San Francisco. To most people, this would sound ideal, to me it's not. I'm just glad I made it through the grueling week of 7am to 6pm classes (lectures) with half hour lunch breaks and to top it off two hour take home tests. This sounds insane, and it is. I even elected to take this. You may ask why? Well, the 97% pass rate was the deciding factor. For someone that has only been working in Dermatology, I had to brush up on my adult medicine skills. (I won't delve deep into the boring details but I am certified in Adult Medicine and I work in Dermatology, which means I don't even know where my stethoscope is!). Long story short, the fish swimming around me remind me of how much Lyla likes Nemo. (MO MO is what she would say. The absence of someone tugging my arm and saying "hand" makes me sad. I've learned to love the commotion in my life.

Yes, the last five days flew by.
I was so BUSY with studying and tests that I truly didn't have time to grieve.
I didn't have sadness because I didn't have time (thank goodness).
Now I'm going to fly back home and squeeze my little Lyla and kiss her so much she won't know what happened.

I learned that I am happy I'm a working mom.
I'm lucky I have such a wonderful job.
I love working 30 hours a week and spending the rest of the time with Lyla.
I am lucky, and hard working.

I'm a happy mom and can't wait to go home and be one!
Wish me luck on my boards, the dreaded day is March 28th.
But hey.... 97% pass rate, I can't dare be one of those 3%, right????

Happy Day!


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